“Am I The Jerk For Wearing A Wedding Dress At A Wedding?”

Weddings can be a minefield of social etiquette. You need quite a bit of experience to deliver everything that’s expected from the perfect guest.

But even a hundred ceremonies couldn’t have prepared cosplayer and Reddit user DanWantsDeath for what he experienced on his friend’s big day.

The woman and her fiancé invited people to an “engagement party” and once it started, the couple revealed that it was actually their wedding. And it may have worked. If DanWantsDeath wasn’t dressed as the Corpse Bride.

This cosplayer decided to attend his friend’s engagement party in a wedding dress

Image credits: hidylle (not the actual photo)

But once it started, he learned that it was the actual ceremony

Image credits: Warner Bros

Image credits: veloritapdx (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Daniel Frese (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Christina A. Meador (not the actual photo)

Image credits: DanWantsDeath

It’s difficult to sympathize with the newlyweds after they purposefully misled everyone

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

In general, an engagement party tends to be more casual than a wedding reception. Lisa Sanchez, in-house stylist and fashion editor of The Nines, told BRIDES that choosing the right outfit depends on the season, time, and venue.

With that being said, the typical engagement party attire etiquette rules are:

  • Avoid wearing white. Even if it’s not their wedding night, it’s still a wedding-related celebration.
  • Pay attention to the dress code recommendations. “If no dress code is advised, then you can assume business professional attire is appropriate,” Sanchez said. You can also contact the couple’s family and friends if you don’t want to ask them directly.
  • Skip the jeans. “Generally, jeans are a no-go, but the venue could affect the style,” Sanchez added “For example, if the event is at a pub, then dark jeans paired with a nice shirt and jacket for a man and a formal top for a woman could work.” She recommends skipping lighter and distressed jeans so you don’t look overly casual.
  • Wear something tasteful that isn’t too bold. “Your goal as a guest is to celebrate the special couple, so it would be in poor taste to overshadow the event with a lavish, show-stealing outfit,” Sanchez highlighted. “You are not expected to totally mute your individuality, but be respectful.”

While you could argue that DanWantsDeath went for an extravagant look, even the groom reassured him that it was fine when he informed the guests about the plot twist. So you can’t really blame the cosplayer, can you?

There’s also a chance that the actual reason for the estrangement lies somewhere else

Image credits: Polinach (not the actual photo)

“The wedding actually becomes a convenient and concrete vehicle for individuals to express resentments they may have had historically,” Seth Meyers, a clinical psychologist and the author of Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve, explained to The New York Times.

(That can go both ways and could explain, for example, why many brides and grooms recall a friend hurling cruel, seemingly deep-seated comments at them when they weren’t asked to be a bridesmaid or when they weren’t allowed to bring a plus-one.)

A wedding represents change and human beings often struggle with it. It’s the start of a new phase and sometimes you just aren’t ready to take the leap.

As his story went viral, the guy explained that pretty much everyone was dressed in funny and silly costumes

Some commenters were confused to hear a man was wearing a dress

And his friend is still angry with him

At least people who read the cosplayer’s post have been really supportive of him